Dream

“My mother always asked how I had so much mental energy, as she couldn’t understand where it was coming from. It was desperation. It is a very human emotion. Growing up in Topeka was difficult but glamorous, in the sense that no one would ever come out of there. As if no one would.” – SMW.

“List of artists, including horrible men. Donald Judd? I don't even want to speak his name. Donald Judd is patriarchal. Carolee is also here. My work is also about being a bit silly, or stupid. I'm very interested in these words. What does it mean? I'm not a serious artist. I constantly have to readjust my perception. I'm male and there is this expectation of male artists – I don't really like them. I don't like men generally, just sexually.” – SMW.

“My mother holding a coat in a pancake restaurant in NY. I was working at the MET. The Unicorn tapestry. I was an intern, I would give tours and research how the nuns would live back in the 1400s. Maybe it’s me who doesn’t trust whenever someone has an alternative aesthetic and sometimes the behavior doesn’t match it. It’s much weirder when you are punk on the inside. I feel like I have a multi-colored mohawk even if I don’t look it. When it doesn’t match, you pay more attention to the behaviour. I was never so good at maintaining appearances. Gathering power through specific aesthetics. We construct our image or our image construct us somehow. Constructed image is not my strong point.” – AC and SMW.

Inventorying session + invited archivist (IA) meeting – 15.09.20. “I’m kind of counting on magic. Gift magic. Gift science magic. This is our kind of methodology.” – SMW.

“That was my first exhibition – my bedroom. Ended up performing there with Carolee 16 years later. At that time I had no idea I would be working with her in that way. Spatial memory. Always trying to teach my friend something.” – SMW and AC.

“It was a relief to get it [HIV], because I didn’t have to be scared anymore. I was so scared of the idea of it.” – SMW.

“Patriarchy has put its stamp on her – some things don’t come from her. Separation between the mother and son – the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” – SMW.

“Simon Rodea and the Watts Towers. Everybody does artistic research. Life management, as Megan says. My sister works around sex health and sex workers. My mother asked what was it about our upbringing that made our lives revolve around sex. We weren't brought up on sex. My parents are very sexual people, but privately. sex is justice and truth, when it's good, and we were raised to be interested in justice and truth.” – SMW, also referring to MH.

“The desire doesn’t stop – you don’t stop wanting, it just changes form. It’s funny that all I have left of six months of sex and fighting and all of it, is a banana – it seems appropriate.” – SMW.

“Conscious of documenting myself as I grew up – it’s hard to imagine people otherwise. Obsessively documenting. Butterface. Justicebody. Growing up ugly. Sexy to WHO? Prawn head.” – AC and SMW.

“Jewish religion I grew up was widely homophobic, also bad for women. A little family picture with my favourite grandparents (Dad’s parents, Gene and Dee)-they were poor and they were open-minded. One time I said no to sex only. My freudian psychoanalyst was a grandfather-they won’t give an inch. Rewriting for the person or against the person. Trauma trickles down generations. The sweetness of the patriarchy-claiming compensation for trauma and violence.” – SMW and AC.

Rijksakademie Internal Open Studios – 07.09.20. “Everybody asks you how you perform, what it means. Yes, I’ll tell you it has a very deep meaning.” – Anon. “Abstract conceptualization, obscure.” – AC. “Yes, it means whatever you need to hear.” – Anon. “Now give me the money. ‘Valuable culture’, whatever that means.” – AC. “Then they are at ease. Whenever they have some money, these people/funds want to spend it on culture. ‘We’ll just give it to the ballet’.” – Anon.