Collage

“My mother always asked how I had so much mental energy, as she couldn’t understand where it was coming from. It was desperation. It is a very human emotion. Growing up in Topeka was difficult but glamorous, in the sense that no one would ever come out of there. As if no one would.” – SMW.

“Birth certificate. Rewrite your own existence? I don’t think that ever changes, the baby feeling, the inner child. Almost like an onion, the baby is the center and then you have these layers. Separate my identity from who I was at that point.” – SMW and AC.

“Construction of your own history. What you remember and what you don’t remember. The history that I feel part of is abstract expression.” – SMW and AC.

“When I grew up, there weren’t many images of gay relationships. Brokeback Mountain hadn’t happened yet. So I feel men turned to porn, which is similar to the beginning of a relationship.” – SMW.

“Simon Rodea and the Watts Towers. Everybody does artistic research. Life management, as Megan says. My sister works around sex health and sex workers. My mother asked what was it about our upbringing that made our lives revolve around sex. We weren't brought up on sex. My parents are very sexual people, but privately. sex is justice and truth, when it's good, and we were raised to be interested in justice and truth.” – SMW, also referring to MH.

“Hannah on the phone. I've always been into people who take control of their own image. I can't see through your eyes. Art and your body – you can't. The total package. The interior, the exterior, the brain, the body. You're very greedy you want everything and I do.” – SMW and AC. “Flirting with the idea of being a pop star. Patti Smith I can do this.” – SMW and AC.

“Gay men don’t want to admit that they are growing older.” – SMW. “Bottom solidarity that I didn’t always have to use my own body.” – SMW.

“List of artists, including horrible men. Donald Judd? I don't even want to speak his name. Donald Judd is patriarchal. Carolee is also here. My work is also about being a bit silly, or stupid. I'm very interested in these words. What does it mean? I'm not a serious artist. I constantly have to readjust my perception. I'm male and there is this expectation of male artists – I don't really like them. I don't like men generally, just sexually.” – SMW.

“Bisexual beef and self-suckers. Dad birthdays. Inches magazine. False bottom drawer with heterosexual porn. It didn’t make a difference – I just wanted to know what sex was. Christine’s anal fever. Hetero porn is still quite problematic, but for gay men they have to watch themselves to learn about themselves. Maybe it’s different now. But I learnt a lot, they were affirmative.” – SMW.

“The desire doesn’t stop – you don’t stop wanting, it just changes form. It’s funny that all I have left of six months of sex and fighting and all of it, is a banana – it seems appropriate.” – SMW.

“They are probably nice guys but it's kind of intense.” – SMW.

“My mother holding a coat in a pancake restaurant in NY. I was working at the MET. The Unicorn tapestry. I was an intern, I would give tours and research how the nuns would live back in the 1400s. Maybe it’s me who doesn’t trust whenever someone has an alternative aesthetic and sometimes the behavior doesn’t match it. It’s much weirder when you are punk on the inside. I feel like I have a multi-colored mohawk even if I don’t look it. When it doesn’t match, you pay more attention to the behaviour. I was never so good at maintaining appearances. Gathering power through specific aesthetics. We construct our image or our image construct us somehow. Constructed image is not my strong point.” – AC and SMW.