Collage

“Something about pink. Need.” – SMW.

“Carolee with her partner Bruce MacPherson around 1978. I’m not sure what the dog’s book is. Collection of books, cassettes, etc. She looks happy. Coded handwriting in the back so that no one could read it; it reads ‘Carolee, Carolee, necessity’ and other things I can no longer decipher.” – SMW with AC.

“Conscious of documenting myself as I grew up – it’s hard to imagine people otherwise. Obsessively documenting. Butterface. Justicebody. Growing up ugly. Sexy to WHO? Prawn head.” – AC and SMW.

“Ben Shawn's illustration from The Shape of Content – one of the less didactic 'you should follow' kind of figures I was introduced to. I actually was interested in his work. Very sweet.” – SMW paraphrased by MH.

“Letter to Angie Marks. I never sent it to her. She was always known for being beautiful. I went to Kansas and said: you look beautiful as always. She said: you look like you always do. Conflicted relationship. Something to separate with my past. Never got sent.” – SMW.

“‘Morning, fuck me up my ass’. Wilke and bubblegums. As far as genius goes, she is whatever that means. I was drawing teeth all the time. I heard that if a man has a dream about their teeth fall out, it’s got to do with impotence. Men dream a lot of things that have to do with impotence. I am not looking forward to being impotent, cause I like to come. But sex is not penetrative to me. Andrea Dworkin. Paul Preciado.” – SMW. “Tricky when you get Butler or US references. I am happy when people do the same thing out of the (colonial) bubble. Imperial knowledge. Dali, Lorca and Bunuel in love in the Spanish almost-Renaissance.” – AC and SMW.

“One of those philosophers everybody tells you to like, that I actually like. Killed by a bus, relational figure to Gaudí? I feel like very often artists die young. Yes, and it could have been me at any point. You have to go on, if you want to. Life is not a requirement. But it definitely isn’t a choice when it comes to a bus (or maybe it is).” – SMW with AC.

“Mis-referencing, referencing and creating networks. I had some success in galleries in the beginning, and I hated it”. Abramović gallery. The greedy gallery floor. – SMW.

“Alan Saret was from Kansas and that’s why I chose this, interested in figuring out whereas there was anything intrinsic as to being from Kansas/and there isn’t. Kansas as washed out and bleached photo. Started as desperation, all these materials dragged to Europe in bin bags.” – SMW.

“Sexually, we are a mirror for each other when you cruise. You can never see yourself as other people see you – we have to get in each other’s head and that can’t happen. Archiving puts me back – I need to go back and forth between who I was and who I am.” – SMW.

Inventorying session – 27.08.20. “Are we all the best artists in the world?” AC [in reply to SMW]. “Young artists and the flow of past voices – not taking down but breathing through.” – AC.

“I’m already a man I don’t want to take up too much space – on men overtaking/monopolising conversations.” – SMW.

“First artists friends only in Amsterdam. Successful artists – you must be intelligent because you don’t say much. I go in the opposite direction and talk too much and insist that I have something to say. You can never have too many references, there is so many people creating things all the time. When an audience (pays), I have a gun to my head and i have to be as truthful, honest and vulnerable as possible. You better do it or die. I don’t see what I do as entertainment, that is the opposite of what I do. I respond in the moment, but it has taken 20 years to get to the point.” – SMW.