Photographs

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

“The images were taken by Rudy Rijling in Amsterdam, an (at that time) older than me erotic photographer of young men whose ad I found in the back of a contact magazine. I had just gotten back from Greece with De Ateliers on a residency trip and because of the weather difference I had a very heavy red rash on the insides of my thighs. Luckily on black and white film this does not really show up. I had wanted to make this wallpaper in 1997 for my first exhibit ever at Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam but one of the curators, Martijn van Nieuwenhuyzen (a gay man himself) advised 23 year old me against it, saying I would become known as the ‘guy with the erect penis’. Carolee Schneemann told me never to be ashamed of pleasure and how the body shows it. So I was confused, but listened to him and then in 2007, ten years later, at a solo exhibit in Munich at Lothringer 13, finally had the opportunity to have the wallpaper made. I had tried to become a gay porno model, but only half-heartedly. I went back to Rudy later to ask for the negatives which he gave me, we also had sex a few times at some point. It’s one of the first times I realized that much older men were attractive to me…There were 8 strips of wallpaper and they were never glued, they exist as unique objects. I have to add and I don’t really like to, it gives me no great pleasure, that part of the idea of the wallpaper came from Andy Warhol’s Cow series of wallpaper and other series of his. But there could have been other influences this was not an exclusive influence.” – SMW.

SMW & AC inventorying session – 08.10.20. “Part of the reason I’m not more confident is because I don’t have money. If I knew anything in this room had economic value… Tracy Emin has a waiting list. Imagine.” – SMW. “I think I would hate them [the buyers].” – AC.

Inventorying session + invited archivist (IA) meeting – 15.09.20. “How archives create value, trash, and trashy but valuable.” – MH.